The topic of bullying is close to my heart and I've spent many days of my life pondering the subject. Why do some people feel that they have the right to treat others so poorly? How can bullying be prevented and stopped? There are no easy answers of course but that doesn't stop me from wondering about it.
I'd like to see myself as the one that stood up for the bullied ones but when I take a close look at myself I see two sides. I've practised what I preach for sure, I've talked to the loners and supported them when the bullies roared their ugly heads, I've been in support groups and I've taken the time to try and help in any way I could. But ... I'm not always a nice person. There's that new girl in school, she really rubbed me the wrong way and I said and did some really nasty things simply because I didn't like her and her opinions. My friends pesky little brother is another of my victims. I disliked him greatly and I'd push him into thorny bushes and stinging nettles when ever I got a chance. I'm certain that if you could talk to either of them they'd be able to tell you what a horrible bully I was and perhaps still am.
Now, someone might feel the need to be polite and try to comfort me by saying "I'm sure it wasn't that bad", but the point is that that's exactly how bullies justify what they do, "it's not that bad" or "they deserved what they got". Some words, some actions that seems small and trivial to you might hurt for a life time for another person.
The girl from school works as a journalist now, I've read some of her articles and I still dislike her style and her opinions. Some things never change I guess. The pesky little brother has left the country and is now working as an investment banker. From what I've heard from his father he never comes back to visit and I'm wondering if I'm one of the reasons why.
I've also seen bullying at its very ugliest and it ended with the victim committing suicide. My friend and I did all that we could to help that victim but what we did simply wasn't enough. The memories still haunts us two decades later and we keep asking ourselves and each other, what else could we have done?
Today when most people have computer and internet access it's easy to search the topic online and get information, support and advice and I do hope that people remember that. I also hope that people realise that this is not simply a "kids" thing, this can happen to adults too. The internet with all its twists and turns can be a good place to find caring people to talk to when everything else is a mess.